Do I blend in to the background
Every time you come round?
In days to come you will wonder
'Where has she gone, is she with another?'
Reach out and take my hand
Before I'm blown away with the wind.
I'm sorry to say
I can't stop time.
I am here now
Open your eyes and see.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
eight years later...
“Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children. “ – President George W. Bush, November 11, 2001
I remember today where I was when I first heard. I was in New York, a few short hours away from the towers…I was in my sophomore art class waiting for the bell when the news broke on the radio. I was SHOCKED; time stood still. I didn’t go to my next class, I stood there listening for most of the next period along with all the other students who caught on there was something happening. After school I went home and watched the news for one of the few times in my life. I watched for HOURS, I couldn’t help myself. Today I remember how hopeless I felt; how pointless all things seemed. My perspective is a little different today these eight years later; today I pray for peace for the families of those lost, I pray for the families of those who orchestrated the attack, I pray for those who don’t or can’t or won’t forgive those men. I pray that God would continue to grow me into a woman who stands for his word and nothing else, that I would be used to bring peace to every person I encounter that is hurting.
I will never forget September 11, 2001.
I remember today where I was when I first heard. I was in New York, a few short hours away from the towers…I was in my sophomore art class waiting for the bell when the news broke on the radio. I was SHOCKED; time stood still. I didn’t go to my next class, I stood there listening for most of the next period along with all the other students who caught on there was something happening. After school I went home and watched the news for one of the few times in my life. I watched for HOURS, I couldn’t help myself. Today I remember how hopeless I felt; how pointless all things seemed. My perspective is a little different today these eight years later; today I pray for peace for the families of those lost, I pray for the families of those who orchestrated the attack, I pray for those who don’t or can’t or won’t forgive those men. I pray that God would continue to grow me into a woman who stands for his word and nothing else, that I would be used to bring peace to every person I encounter that is hurting.
I will never forget September 11, 2001.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
A Diamond is a Blessing...
I have seen God's blessing in so many ways over the past few years. He works in amazing ways. He is beautiful and faithful and kind and loving and all things good.
I was overwhelmed last night with a sense of wonder at who God is. I was blessed with the opportunity to watch my friend Stewart play his first game of softball since the end of his chemo treatments. Stewart had three amazing rounds at bat, and one where the ump called him out(stupid ump!). The three times Stu hit the ball he made it to first base. He was also amazing in the field. He was on his game for sure! It sounds simple, a grown man playing softball with friends, but for me it was a sign of God keeping his promises. God will never leave us or forsake us. He loves us and wants good things for us. He is mighty and worthy of my praise! I don't know how to express it fully, but watching Stewart play last night was a wonderful blessing to me.
I was overwhelmed last night with a sense of wonder at who God is. I was blessed with the opportunity to watch my friend Stewart play his first game of softball since the end of his chemo treatments. Stewart had three amazing rounds at bat, and one where the ump called him out(stupid ump!). The three times Stu hit the ball he made it to first base. He was also amazing in the field. He was on his game for sure! It sounds simple, a grown man playing softball with friends, but for me it was a sign of God keeping his promises. God will never leave us or forsake us. He loves us and wants good things for us. He is mighty and worthy of my praise! I don't know how to express it fully, but watching Stewart play last night was a wonderful blessing to me.
Like Sands of the Hour Glass...
so are the days of our lives.
its not often that I am entirely aware of what I am doing in a single moment, I tend to just go through the motions: get up, go to work/school, come home, go to bed, repeat. I very often am unable to tell you what I ate for dinner yesterday or what outfit I wore, but there are some moments when I feel alive, aware, awake.
a few weeks back I had a conversation with a friend and when it was over I knew that my life would be different. for a few brief moments I was fully awake, totally aware that God was speaking and that I had to pay attention or I was going to miss what He was saying. God had given me a choice in that moment, but either way my life was going to change. I saw my friend from across the room when God said to me "talk to him, he has something for you." so we talked, I listened. as we talked excitement grew in me to the point I could hardly contain myself ... my life was going to change, soon!
at the end of october my roommate is getting married at which point I will move in with my aunt and uncle for roughly six weeks to finish out the semester of school. I will be quitting my job by the first of the year (a very big step in trusting the Lord), will move in with some friends south of the city for spring semester, then I will be moving to colorado. I have been offered a job teaching english to speakers of other languages, which is my dream! I am not 100% sure what waits for me there (other than the prospect of a job), but I am 100% sure that God is calling me to trust Him so I am going. I don't know the details of exactly where I will live, where my job will be, which church I will attend, etc., etc., etc. what I do know is that God is leading me so I will follow.
its not often that I am entirely aware of what I am doing in a single moment, I tend to just go through the motions: get up, go to work/school, come home, go to bed, repeat. I very often am unable to tell you what I ate for dinner yesterday or what outfit I wore, but there are some moments when I feel alive, aware, awake.
a few weeks back I had a conversation with a friend and when it was over I knew that my life would be different. for a few brief moments I was fully awake, totally aware that God was speaking and that I had to pay attention or I was going to miss what He was saying. God had given me a choice in that moment, but either way my life was going to change. I saw my friend from across the room when God said to me "talk to him, he has something for you." so we talked, I listened. as we talked excitement grew in me to the point I could hardly contain myself ... my life was going to change, soon!
at the end of october my roommate is getting married at which point I will move in with my aunt and uncle for roughly six weeks to finish out the semester of school. I will be quitting my job by the first of the year (a very big step in trusting the Lord), will move in with some friends south of the city for spring semester, then I will be moving to colorado. I have been offered a job teaching english to speakers of other languages, which is my dream! I am not 100% sure what waits for me there (other than the prospect of a job), but I am 100% sure that God is calling me to trust Him so I am going. I don't know the details of exactly where I will live, where my job will be, which church I will attend, etc., etc., etc. what I do know is that God is leading me so I will follow.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
The music SPEAKS to me...
I love how music can speak so much truth into ones life. I know there are songs that have made more of an impact on me, but this song just struck me as one that is so TRUE. I started listening to The Rocket Summer about two years ago when my little sister invited me to a concert with her (I jump at any opportunity to spend time with my family). I really like the message that Bryce has in his music, and LOVE the fact that he is WORSHIPING in crowds of children (and adults) who have NO idea what's going on :)
All the songs he has written are so uplifting and positive I am glad there is a role model out there for the young generation who is TRULY good. Anyway, the song that touched me today is Run to You which goes like this:
turn look, look out and see
do you see me?
cause i think i see you
i have been some other place
the wind that i chase it all
just leads back to you
or how i'm still, so still..
its so far and
still i've ran
i knew you
when i was young
but where am i now?
that i am a man
run to you
i will run i will run
i will move right on through
all these things that i have done
and you'll take me back
i dont know why
i wanna say i'll never do it again
but i cant, but i will try
turn look look out and see
do you see me?
cause i see think i see you
i have been some other place
the wind that i chase it all it just leads back to you
oh how i miss, what you miss
but i will fall time and again
and i will say that im true to you
but i'm a cheat
i don't understand
so i'll run to you
i will run i will run
i will move right on through
all these things that i have done
and you'll take me back
i don't know why
i wanna say i'll never do it again
but i can't
i wanna i'll never do it again
but i can't
but i will try
I think its just a beautiful, honest, statement about where he has been and where he wants to be. He is an impressive young man. I have now seen him in concert three times and each time I am more and more impressed with him. He is a young 20-something who is married to his high school sweetheart. They tour together, and he LOVES her, and she him; you can tell by the way they look at each other. It is truly beautiful. All that to say I like The Rocket Summer. And, I will try, that's all I can do, wake up every day and TRY!
All the songs he has written are so uplifting and positive I am glad there is a role model out there for the young generation who is TRULY good. Anyway, the song that touched me today is Run to You which goes like this:
turn look, look out and see
do you see me?
cause i think i see you
i have been some other place
the wind that i chase it all
just leads back to you
or how i'm still, so still..
its so far and
still i've ran
i knew you
when i was young
but where am i now?
that i am a man
run to you
i will run i will run
i will move right on through
all these things that i have done
and you'll take me back
i dont know why
i wanna say i'll never do it again
but i cant, but i will try
turn look look out and see
do you see me?
cause i see think i see you
i have been some other place
the wind that i chase it all it just leads back to you
oh how i miss, what you miss
but i will fall time and again
and i will say that im true to you
but i'm a cheat
i don't understand
so i'll run to you
i will run i will run
i will move right on through
all these things that i have done
and you'll take me back
i don't know why
i wanna say i'll never do it again
but i can't
i wanna i'll never do it again
but i can't
but i will try
I think its just a beautiful, honest, statement about where he has been and where he wants to be. He is an impressive young man. I have now seen him in concert three times and each time I am more and more impressed with him. He is a young 20-something who is married to his high school sweetheart. They tour together, and he LOVES her, and she him; you can tell by the way they look at each other. It is truly beautiful. All that to say I like The Rocket Summer. And, I will try, that's all I can do, wake up every day and TRY!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
New Life at New Life Church
Previously posted in my myspace...deleting the account and wanted the reminder of how even the greatest of people can fall, and how support systems really can save lives.
How sad it is when people fall, but how well they handled it...I am in awe of these people and I wish full restoration and healing both for them and their families...
God bless.
November 5, 2006
My Dear New Life Church Family,
I am so sorry. I am sorry for the disappointment, the betrayal, and the hurt. I am sorry for
the horrible example I have set for you.
I have an overwhelming, all-consuming sadness in my heart for the pain that you and I
and my family have experienced over the past few days. I am so sorry for the
circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment to all of you.
I asked that this note be read to you this morning so I could clarify my heart's condition
to you. The last four days have been so difficult for me, my family and all of you, and I
have further confused the situation with some of the things I've said during interviews
with reporters who would catch me coming or going from my home. But I alone am
responsible for the confusion caused by my inconsistent statements. The fact is, I am
guilty of sexual immorality, and I take responsibility for the entire problem.
I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've
been warring against it all of my adult life. For extended periods of time, I would enjoy
victory and rejoice in freedom. Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone
would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that
were contrary to everything I believe and teach.
Through the years, I've sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving
to be effective in me. Then, because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most
because I didn't want to hurt or disappoint them.
The public person I was wasn't a lie; it was just incomplete. When I stopped
communicating about my problems, the darkness increased and finally dominated me. As
a result, I did things that were contrary to everything I believe.
The accusations that have been leveled against me are not all true, but enough of them are
true that I have been appropriately and lovingly removed from ministry. Our church's
overseers have required me to submit to the oversight of Dr. James Dobson, Pastor Jack
Hayford, and Pastor Tommy Barnett. Those men will perform a thorough analysis of my
mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical life. They will guide me through a program
with the goal of healing and restoration for my life, my marriage, and my family.
I created this entire situation. The things that I did opened the door for additional
allegations. But I am responsible; I alone need to be disciplined and corrected. An
example must be set.
It is important that you know how much I love and appreciate my wife, Gayle. What I did
should never reflect in a negative way on her relationship with me. She has been and
continues to be incredible. The problem was not with her, my children, or any of you. It
was created 100% by me.
I have been permanently removed from the office of Senior Pastor of New Life Church.
Until a new senior pastor is chosen, our Associate Senior Pastor, Ross Parsley, will
assume all of the responsibilities of the office. On the day he accepted this new role, he
and his wife, Aimee, had a new baby boy. A new life in the midst of this circumstance—I
consider that confluence of events to be prophetic. Please commit to join with Pastor
Ross and the others in church leadership to make their service to you easy and without
burden. They are fine leaders. You are blessed.
I appreciate your loving and forgiving nature, and I humbly ask you to do a few things:
1. Please stay faithful to God through service and giving.
2. Please forgive me. I am so embarrassed and ashamed. I caused this and I have no
excuse. I am a sinner. I have fallen. I desperately need to be forgiven and healed.
3. Please forgive my accuser. He is revealing the deception and sensuality that was
in my life. Those sins, and others, need to be dealt with harshly. So, forgive him
and, actually, thank God for him. I am trusting that his actions will make me, my
wife and family, and ultimately all of you, stronger. He didn't violate you; I did.
4. Please stay faithful to each other. Perform your functions well. Encourage each
other and rejoice in God's faithfulness. Our church body is a beautiful body, and
like every family, our strength is tested and proven in the midst of adversity.
Because of the negative publicity I've created with my foolishness, we can now
demonstrate to the world how our sick and wounded can be healed, and how even
disappointed and betrayed church bodies can prosper and rejoice.
Gayle and I need to be gone for a while. We will never return to a leadership role at
New Life Church. In our hearts, we will always be members of this body. We love
you as our family. I know this situation will put you to the test. I'm sorry I've created
the test, but please rise to this challenge and demonstrate the incredible grace that is
available to all of us.
Ted Haggard
November 5, 2006
Dear Women of New Life Church,
I am so sorry for the circumstances that have led me to write this letter to you today. I
know your hearts are broken; mine is as well. Yet my hope rests steadfastly in the Lord
who is forever faithful.
What I want you to know is that I love my husband, Ted Haggard, with all my heart. I am
committed to him until death "do us part." We started this journey together and with the
grace of God, we will finish together.
If I were standing before you today, I would not change one iota of what I have been
teaching the women of our church. For those of you who have been concerned that my
marriage was so perfect I could not possible relate to the women who are facing great
difficulties, know that this will never again be the case. My test has begun; watch me. I
will try to prove myself faithful.
I love you all so much, especially you young women—you were my delight.
To all the church family of new Life Church—Ted and I are so proud of you. You are all
we hoped you would be. In our minds, there is no greater church.
As you try to make sense of these past few days, know that Ted believes with all his heart
and soul everything he has ever taught you, those things you are putting into practice. He
is now the visible and public evidence that every man (woman and child) needs a Savior.
We are grateful for your prayers for our family.
I hold you forever in my heart,
Gayle Haggard
" I will govern my life and thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one and read the other, for what does it signify to make anything a secret to my neighbor, when to God, who is the searcher of our hearts, all our privacies are open?" ~ Seneca
How sad it is when people fall, but how well they handled it...I am in awe of these people and I wish full restoration and healing both for them and their families...
God bless.
November 5, 2006
My Dear New Life Church Family,
I am so sorry. I am sorry for the disappointment, the betrayal, and the hurt. I am sorry for
the horrible example I have set for you.
I have an overwhelming, all-consuming sadness in my heart for the pain that you and I
and my family have experienced over the past few days. I am so sorry for the
circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment to all of you.
I asked that this note be read to you this morning so I could clarify my heart's condition
to you. The last four days have been so difficult for me, my family and all of you, and I
have further confused the situation with some of the things I've said during interviews
with reporters who would catch me coming or going from my home. But I alone am
responsible for the confusion caused by my inconsistent statements. The fact is, I am
guilty of sexual immorality, and I take responsibility for the entire problem.
I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've
been warring against it all of my adult life. For extended periods of time, I would enjoy
victory and rejoice in freedom. Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone
would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that
were contrary to everything I believe and teach.
Through the years, I've sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving
to be effective in me. Then, because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most
because I didn't want to hurt or disappoint them.
The public person I was wasn't a lie; it was just incomplete. When I stopped
communicating about my problems, the darkness increased and finally dominated me. As
a result, I did things that were contrary to everything I believe.
The accusations that have been leveled against me are not all true, but enough of them are
true that I have been appropriately and lovingly removed from ministry. Our church's
overseers have required me to submit to the oversight of Dr. James Dobson, Pastor Jack
Hayford, and Pastor Tommy Barnett. Those men will perform a thorough analysis of my
mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical life. They will guide me through a program
with the goal of healing and restoration for my life, my marriage, and my family.
I created this entire situation. The things that I did opened the door for additional
allegations. But I am responsible; I alone need to be disciplined and corrected. An
example must be set.
It is important that you know how much I love and appreciate my wife, Gayle. What I did
should never reflect in a negative way on her relationship with me. She has been and
continues to be incredible. The problem was not with her, my children, or any of you. It
was created 100% by me.
I have been permanently removed from the office of Senior Pastor of New Life Church.
Until a new senior pastor is chosen, our Associate Senior Pastor, Ross Parsley, will
assume all of the responsibilities of the office. On the day he accepted this new role, he
and his wife, Aimee, had a new baby boy. A new life in the midst of this circumstance—I
consider that confluence of events to be prophetic. Please commit to join with Pastor
Ross and the others in church leadership to make their service to you easy and without
burden. They are fine leaders. You are blessed.
I appreciate your loving and forgiving nature, and I humbly ask you to do a few things:
1. Please stay faithful to God through service and giving.
2. Please forgive me. I am so embarrassed and ashamed. I caused this and I have no
excuse. I am a sinner. I have fallen. I desperately need to be forgiven and healed.
3. Please forgive my accuser. He is revealing the deception and sensuality that was
in my life. Those sins, and others, need to be dealt with harshly. So, forgive him
and, actually, thank God for him. I am trusting that his actions will make me, my
wife and family, and ultimately all of you, stronger. He didn't violate you; I did.
4. Please stay faithful to each other. Perform your functions well. Encourage each
other and rejoice in God's faithfulness. Our church body is a beautiful body, and
like every family, our strength is tested and proven in the midst of adversity.
Because of the negative publicity I've created with my foolishness, we can now
demonstrate to the world how our sick and wounded can be healed, and how even
disappointed and betrayed church bodies can prosper and rejoice.
Gayle and I need to be gone for a while. We will never return to a leadership role at
New Life Church. In our hearts, we will always be members of this body. We love
you as our family. I know this situation will put you to the test. I'm sorry I've created
the test, but please rise to this challenge and demonstrate the incredible grace that is
available to all of us.
Ted Haggard
November 5, 2006
Dear Women of New Life Church,
I am so sorry for the circumstances that have led me to write this letter to you today. I
know your hearts are broken; mine is as well. Yet my hope rests steadfastly in the Lord
who is forever faithful.
What I want you to know is that I love my husband, Ted Haggard, with all my heart. I am
committed to him until death "do us part." We started this journey together and with the
grace of God, we will finish together.
If I were standing before you today, I would not change one iota of what I have been
teaching the women of our church. For those of you who have been concerned that my
marriage was so perfect I could not possible relate to the women who are facing great
difficulties, know that this will never again be the case. My test has begun; watch me. I
will try to prove myself faithful.
I love you all so much, especially you young women—you were my delight.
To all the church family of new Life Church—Ted and I are so proud of you. You are all
we hoped you would be. In our minds, there is no greater church.
As you try to make sense of these past few days, know that Ted believes with all his heart
and soul everything he has ever taught you, those things you are putting into practice. He
is now the visible and public evidence that every man (woman and child) needs a Savior.
We are grateful for your prayers for our family.
I hold you forever in my heart,
Gayle Haggard
" I will govern my life and thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one and read the other, for what does it signify to make anything a secret to my neighbor, when to God, who is the searcher of our hearts, all our privacies are open?" ~ Seneca
why my friends are awesome...
not too many people have friends who will provide them with such entertainment as this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pldFYUf5gZE
love, love, love it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pldFYUf5gZE
love, love, love it.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
He is Risen!
In just about two hours it will be Easter Sunday. This is a day I now look forward to each year as a way to remember the amazingness of Jesus. I am still relatively new to Christianity, in the past four years my life has changed and I have grown immensely in my faith, but I think the short amount of time allows me to have a childlike awe for Easter (and Christmas).
My first Easter as a believer was an amazing day; the day I was baptized. Mind you I didn't have an instantaneous conversion, God had been working on me for YEARS (looking back I can see where He had his hands in my life), but this day will forever be one of my favourite days. God reached out and pulled me up from the pit of despair that day. This Easter Sunday, four years ago, was the day I surrendered my life to the Lord of all creation.
Even now, I have a hard time understanding His love, why would He love someone, or a whole people (the Israelites) for that matter, who HATED Him? Love is something that is so conditional in my human mind that I still have days where I question how God could love me. But He does! He entered into this earth He created and lived a pure and blameless life so that I could be in relationship with Him. He loves me so much that if I were the only person alive he still would have taken on my sin so that I would not have to spend eternity apart from God.
There are days when I doubt, or question why He would love me, this is my flesh speaking, my sinful flesh. I KNOW that God loves me because of the wonderful work he has done in my life. I still struggle to serve Him with my whole life, as every person does, but I fight to stay in His presence because anything less just isn't good enough for me.
I am a child of God, bought and paid for with the blood of the Lamb, my Savoiur Jesus Christ! I enjoy Easter Sunday the most because it is a day when the reality of who Jesus is, and what he did for me, is everywhere. Resurrection Sunday. He defeated death, so that I may have eternal life. I don't understand how, but I know it to be true.
My first Easter as a believer was an amazing day; the day I was baptized. Mind you I didn't have an instantaneous conversion, God had been working on me for YEARS (looking back I can see where He had his hands in my life), but this day will forever be one of my favourite days. God reached out and pulled me up from the pit of despair that day. This Easter Sunday, four years ago, was the day I surrendered my life to the Lord of all creation.
Even now, I have a hard time understanding His love, why would He love someone, or a whole people (the Israelites) for that matter, who HATED Him? Love is something that is so conditional in my human mind that I still have days where I question how God could love me. But He does! He entered into this earth He created and lived a pure and blameless life so that I could be in relationship with Him. He loves me so much that if I were the only person alive he still would have taken on my sin so that I would not have to spend eternity apart from God.
There are days when I doubt, or question why He would love me, this is my flesh speaking, my sinful flesh. I KNOW that God loves me because of the wonderful work he has done in my life. I still struggle to serve Him with my whole life, as every person does, but I fight to stay in His presence because anything less just isn't good enough for me.
I am a child of God, bought and paid for with the blood of the Lamb, my Savoiur Jesus Christ! I enjoy Easter Sunday the most because it is a day when the reality of who Jesus is, and what he did for me, is everywhere. Resurrection Sunday. He defeated death, so that I may have eternal life. I don't understand how, but I know it to be true.
Monday, March 23, 2009
The reward for Joyful service...
I spent some time at my parent's house a few weeks ago, and during that time I was there to serve through cleaning, work, whatever. My main objective was to spend time with my family, which I did, but the secondary goal was to finish a project my dad has been working on for quite some time. Mom was only there for about one day the whole week. Well, when she got home she was pleased with what she saw! And let me tell you, I was NERVOUS she wasn't going to like how the project of the week turned out!!
Due to the short amount of time she was home mom and I only had a couple of conversations, one of which was about Chacos (expensive strappy sporty sandals) and how I wanted a pair without a back strap as I already have one pair with the back strap. I told her I would buy them myself, but they are out of my price range (and will be for some time I am afraid!) I showed her a picture of what I wanted and told her I would email her a link to what I wanted so she could think about getting them for me at Christmas(which I never did)...our Christmas lists start early in my family because ALL of the shopping is usually over between Halloween and Thanksgiving. If it’s not purchased before Thanksgiving, you just aren’t' getting it!
Anyway, this past Friday morning I woke up to a package in my kitchen from Amazon addressed to me. Mind you I have not ordered anything from ANYWHERE in a few weeks so I wasn't expecting anything. I open the box to find not one but TWO different pair of no back strap having Chacos!!! I was so excited I had a VERY difficult time dialing the phone to call my mom so I could thank her for the most unexpected gift.
I don't know that I will ever be able to thank her enough for this simple gift. I don't think she would understand my rambling in trying to explain how important it is to me that she not only heard me when I was talking about what I wanted, but that she got them for me when she didn't have to! It was her way of saying "thank you" and I get that, but NONE of the work I did or the time I gave was done for a reward. I just wanted to spend the week with my family; that was reward enough for me.
I love that God is working in our relationship through simple acts of tearing down walls, simple acts of kindness. I can't help but wonder at what the rest of this year, and all those to follow, will hold for us. I pray the Lord would strengthen me to live my life to please Him only, but that my family would see the change that He has done in my life.
Due to the short amount of time she was home mom and I only had a couple of conversations, one of which was about Chacos (expensive strappy sporty sandals) and how I wanted a pair without a back strap as I already have one pair with the back strap. I told her I would buy them myself, but they are out of my price range (and will be for some time I am afraid!) I showed her a picture of what I wanted and told her I would email her a link to what I wanted so she could think about getting them for me at Christmas(which I never did)...our Christmas lists start early in my family because ALL of the shopping is usually over between Halloween and Thanksgiving. If it’s not purchased before Thanksgiving, you just aren’t' getting it!
Anyway, this past Friday morning I woke up to a package in my kitchen from Amazon addressed to me. Mind you I have not ordered anything from ANYWHERE in a few weeks so I wasn't expecting anything. I open the box to find not one but TWO different pair of no back strap having Chacos!!! I was so excited I had a VERY difficult time dialing the phone to call my mom so I could thank her for the most unexpected gift.
I don't know that I will ever be able to thank her enough for this simple gift. I don't think she would understand my rambling in trying to explain how important it is to me that she not only heard me when I was talking about what I wanted, but that she got them for me when she didn't have to! It was her way of saying "thank you" and I get that, but NONE of the work I did or the time I gave was done for a reward. I just wanted to spend the week with my family; that was reward enough for me.
I love that God is working in our relationship through simple acts of tearing down walls, simple acts of kindness. I can't help but wonder at what the rest of this year, and all those to follow, will hold for us. I pray the Lord would strengthen me to live my life to please Him only, but that my family would see the change that He has done in my life.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
I wouldn't call it a 'run' exactly...
because well, I walked all but the last 50 yards. None the less I took part in the Atlanta Women's 5K (3.1 miles) yesterday and finished with a time I am pleased with (51:49). I was going to wait until I had my pictures downloaded to post but the camera is in the car and its late...and I'm excited to share this accomplishment.
anyway, I was very excited about 'running' this race because it was my first, and for sure not my last. I finished just about in the middle of the crowd I would say, which for only having 3 weeks to prepare, isn't too shabby. It took me 51:49 to finish, which is about 4 minutes faster than my longest practice time and 4 minutes slower than my fastest...which means that I was walking at a pretty steady pace.
I will be looking into future running events because I really did have fun! I think I will shoot to do another 5K run in May, only the next time I plan to RUN...well maybe 50/50? or perhaps my goal should be something more like "I want to have my time be 45:00 or less"? We'll see what happens. I think 8 weeks should be long enough to build up some more endurance. I know I can run a good bit of the distance now (as I have done so on a few occasions), but I was having a lovely conversation with Miss Penney and I didn't want to sacrifice the conversation for a better time. You see, I am UNABLE to run and speak at the same time; so it was one or the other and I wanted the conversation more.
I enjoyed myself and did something new; which is new to me...there are many changes happening in my life right now...running (exercising in general) is just one of them.
hehehe more about life to come. for now sleep is calling me.
anyway, I was very excited about 'running' this race because it was my first, and for sure not my last. I finished just about in the middle of the crowd I would say, which for only having 3 weeks to prepare, isn't too shabby. It took me 51:49 to finish, which is about 4 minutes faster than my longest practice time and 4 minutes slower than my fastest...which means that I was walking at a pretty steady pace.
I will be looking into future running events because I really did have fun! I think I will shoot to do another 5K run in May, only the next time I plan to RUN...well maybe 50/50? or perhaps my goal should be something more like "I want to have my time be 45:00 or less"? We'll see what happens. I think 8 weeks should be long enough to build up some more endurance. I know I can run a good bit of the distance now (as I have done so on a few occasions), but I was having a lovely conversation with Miss Penney and I didn't want to sacrifice the conversation for a better time. You see, I am UNABLE to run and speak at the same time; so it was one or the other and I wanted the conversation more.
I enjoyed myself and did something new; which is new to me...there are many changes happening in my life right now...running (exercising in general) is just one of them.
hehehe more about life to come. for now sleep is calling me.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
What I'm Learning...
I have learned many things in life, as all people tend to do, but the last week has brought a lesson in serving.
I spent last week (my spring break) at my parents house. This house has never been my home and I have never felt much peace about being there, especially when I am there alone. This past week was different. For the first time since my parents moved into this house, I felt like I was 'going home' for a visit. It was a strange feeling, but one I hope returns for future visits.
Over the past few years I have learned to love my family in spite of all the bad things that have happened, and all the stupid decisions we have all made. Until now, I have never felt called to minister to them, or serve them in the name of Jesus.
Last Saturday presented me with free time, and my first opportunity to serve and a nudge from God I could not ignore. I won't bore you with the details about why I was alone, but I was, and I was BORED! Just before giving into the desire to indulge in cable television (something I have not had in my home for over 5 years), I heard a whisper of a voice say "doesn't the floor need to be vacuumed?" to which I immediately responded, "well, sure, but its not my mess!" after a few similar exchanges I was vacuuming the whole house. And the nudging didn't stop with vacuuming, I was taking out the garbage, cleaning pet areas (cat boxes, food dishes, etc.), unloading and reloading the dishwasher...you name it, I was doing it! JOYFULLY!!! There were no witnesses, I wasn't even at the house when my family members returned, but the joy of knowing I had served my family in these simple ways was great.
Saturday was the first of a week full of days involving service to my family...some through physical labor, some through conversations, some through just living my life so they could see who I am, and some I'm sure in ways I can't even imagine or will ever know.
This past week was one of the best weeks I have had in a long time. I am thankful to God for blessing me with time to not only serve my family, but to spend time with them in LIFE. The only thing missing from this week was my older brother, and God even covered that through a phone conversation on my way back to my house. The Lord has blessed me with a new start with my family. We are building a new foundation in our relationships, one I hope will allow us to grow closer together as a family of the world, but also as a family of God.
It is my prayer, oh Lord, that the eyes of my family would be opened, that the scales causing their blindness would be scraped away, and that the little light you have placed inside of me would shine through the darkness into their hearts and bring them to a place of knowing and loving You. You have delivered my soul out of the pits of Sheol, I pray you do the same for them. In Jesus Most Holy name, Amen.
I spent last week (my spring break) at my parents house. This house has never been my home and I have never felt much peace about being there, especially when I am there alone. This past week was different. For the first time since my parents moved into this house, I felt like I was 'going home' for a visit. It was a strange feeling, but one I hope returns for future visits.
Over the past few years I have learned to love my family in spite of all the bad things that have happened, and all the stupid decisions we have all made. Until now, I have never felt called to minister to them, or serve them in the name of Jesus.
Last Saturday presented me with free time, and my first opportunity to serve and a nudge from God I could not ignore. I won't bore you with the details about why I was alone, but I was, and I was BORED! Just before giving into the desire to indulge in cable television (something I have not had in my home for over 5 years), I heard a whisper of a voice say "doesn't the floor need to be vacuumed?" to which I immediately responded, "well, sure, but its not my mess!" after a few similar exchanges I was vacuuming the whole house. And the nudging didn't stop with vacuuming, I was taking out the garbage, cleaning pet areas (cat boxes, food dishes, etc.), unloading and reloading the dishwasher...you name it, I was doing it! JOYFULLY!!! There were no witnesses, I wasn't even at the house when my family members returned, but the joy of knowing I had served my family in these simple ways was great.
Saturday was the first of a week full of days involving service to my family...some through physical labor, some through conversations, some through just living my life so they could see who I am, and some I'm sure in ways I can't even imagine or will ever know.
This past week was one of the best weeks I have had in a long time. I am thankful to God for blessing me with time to not only serve my family, but to spend time with them in LIFE. The only thing missing from this week was my older brother, and God even covered that through a phone conversation on my way back to my house. The Lord has blessed me with a new start with my family. We are building a new foundation in our relationships, one I hope will allow us to grow closer together as a family of the world, but also as a family of God.
It is my prayer, oh Lord, that the eyes of my family would be opened, that the scales causing their blindness would be scraped away, and that the little light you have placed inside of me would shine through the darkness into their hearts and bring them to a place of knowing and loving You. You have delivered my soul out of the pits of Sheol, I pray you do the same for them. In Jesus Most Holy name, Amen.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
and the beat goes on...
Tasks completed (2/102)
Just for Fun
1. watch the sunrise twice (0/2)
2. watch the sunset three times (0/3)
3. spend an hour looking at the stars twice (0/2)
4. spend a day at the park with nothing but a book
5. dance in the rain
6. read 15 children’s books (4/15)
7. read 20 grown up books (5/20)...if I never read another book about global warming it will be too soon...
8. visit the ocean
9. visit the mountains
10. play in the snow
11. swim in a lake or a river
12. be in two places at once
13. hike Stone Mountain
14. visit the Atlanta Zoo
15. relax for a half hour at the lakes on CSU campus five times (1/5)
16.take photo booth pictures
17. buy and put together a puzzle (minimum 200 pieces)
Craftiness
18. bake a loaf of bread from scratch
19. find/make a box to store greeting cards in
20. take 1 picture I like every day for 30 days (5/30)
21. make/stuff three pillows (0/3)
22. acquire and re-finish cedar chest
23. put together photo album for Chai and Joska trips (0/2)
24. sew duvet cover with fabric of my choice
25. make 10 birthday/anniversary/misc. cards (3/10)
26. frame 3 pictures that I really love (1/3)
History
27. Visit Oakland Cemetery
28. find and visit the oldest church in Atlanta, or Georgia (found it now just have to visit)
29. visit Savannah
30. attend one 1890’s day celebration in Ringgold
In me Casa
31. find 20 things to donate to Lazarus ministry (3/20)
32. keep room tidy for one month
33.cook 3 meals a day for two weeks
34. stay on top of laundry for a month
35. have people over for a home cooked dinner
36. go through boxes at dad’s
37. donate the things I find I no longer want/need
38. start recycling
39. burn CD’s of all my pictures
Fun with Friends
40. girls night out (wear dresses and go to a nice restaurant for desserts)
41. go on a picnic
42. take each of my siblings out to lunch (1/5)
43. go to the drive-in
44. go rafting/kayaking
45. go camping twice (0/2)
Cultured Living
46.see a play...Cabaret at CSU
47. watch 6 foreign films (0/6)
48. stay at a monastery for a weekend
49.watch “The Last Lecture” It was amazing and I would recommend it to you all!
50. go to one museum
51. attend three sporting events (0/3)
52. attend a women’s conference
53. attend 3 parties/shows I wouldn’t normally attend (1/3)
54. try two new kinds of ethnic foods (0/2)
Chicken Soup for the Soul
55. worship at three churches other than mine (2/3)
56. read the whole Bible
57. pray for my family every day for 40 days (0/40)
58. spend a whole day with my father NOT complaining about life
59. send mom 6 hand written notes telling her I love her
60. memorize 15 Bible verses (2/15)
61. and then 15 more (0/15)
Its all about You
62. buy flowers for someone just because I can
63. send care packages to my friends overseas (2/4)
64. work on a Habitat for Humanity project
65. convince someone else to do a 101 in 1001 list (Miss Laurie Works)
66. buy a cup of coffee/lunch for 4 people I don’t know (0/4)
67. give blood
68. tell 5 strangers they are beautiful (1/5)
69. volunteer at an Elementary school for 6 months
70. send out Christmas cards once (by Dec. 10th)
71. volunteer to cook a meal for a family at church
72.sponsor a child Mary-Anne is all mine :)
73. help out with 3 Lazarus/church outreach events (1/3)
From the Lincolns to the Benjamins
74. print pictures from Chai/Joska trips
75. put aside $5 for every task accomplished (2/101)
76. save $1000 to be spent on nothing
77. find and apply for 3 scholarships (1/3)
78. go sky diving
79.use only cash for one month (no credit/debit cards)
80. visit California
81. visit Colorado
82. visit New York (road trip if possible!)
83. buy one outfit I LOVE
84. contribute ½ of my tax return to my IRA
85. have a 30 day no buy zone
86. buy a beautiful dress
87. buy a new book every two months, put a note in the book about why I liked it, leave it at a random public place for anyone to pick up (1/15)
From the Inside out
88. read the newspaper 30 times (1/30)
89. watch the news for one hour 30 times (2/30)
90. fast one day per month for duration of 101 in 1001 (0/33)
91. do hair and makeup every day for a month (0/30)
92.wake up by 8 o’clock every day for two weeks when I don’t have to (15/15)
93. be in bed by 10:30 every day for a month (0/30)
94.do pilates every other day for two months (0/30) I have subbed pilates with going to the gym...so far, so good!
95. do pilates for another two months (0/60)
96. go one month without eating fast food (0/30)
97. lose 5 pounds…then another 5 (7/10)
98. eat a salad every day for two months (0/61)
99. go one month without eating sweets (0/30)
100. ask someone out on a date
101. spend one day a month doing nothing but relaxing (6/33)
Things that should have been on the list that weren’t
102. Visit St. Andrews to see Jenn and Brandon
THE ADVENTURE ENDS JUNE 18 2011
Just for Fun
1. watch the sunrise twice (0/2)
2. watch the sunset three times (0/3)
3. spend an hour looking at the stars twice (0/2)
4. spend a day at the park with nothing but a book
5. dance in the rain
6. read 15 children’s books (4/15)
7. read 20 grown up books (5/20)...if I never read another book about global warming it will be too soon...
8. visit the ocean
9. visit the mountains
10. play in the snow
11. swim in a lake or a river
12. be in two places at once
13. hike Stone Mountain
14. visit the Atlanta Zoo
15. relax for a half hour at the lakes on CSU campus five times (1/5)
16.
17. buy and put together a puzzle (minimum 200 pieces)
Craftiness
18. bake a loaf of bread from scratch
19. find/make a box to store greeting cards in
20. take 1 picture I like every day for 30 days (5/30)
21. make/stuff three pillows (0/3)
22. acquire and re-finish cedar chest
23. put together photo album for Chai and Joska trips (0/2)
24. sew duvet cover with fabric of my choice
25. make 10 birthday/anniversary/misc. cards (3/10)
26. frame 3 pictures that I really love (1/3)
History
27. Visit Oakland Cemetery
28. find and visit the oldest church in Atlanta, or Georgia (found it now just have to visit)
29. visit Savannah
30. attend one 1890’s day celebration in Ringgold
In me Casa
31. find 20 things to donate to Lazarus ministry (3/20)
32. keep room tidy for one month
33.
34. stay on top of laundry for a month
35. have people over for a home cooked dinner
36. go through boxes at dad’s
37. donate the things I find I no longer want/need
38. start recycling
39. burn CD’s of all my pictures
Fun with Friends
40. girls night out (wear dresses and go to a nice restaurant for desserts)
41. go on a picnic
42. take each of my siblings out to lunch (1/5)
43. go to the drive-in
44. go rafting/kayaking
45. go camping twice (0/2)
Cultured Living
46.
47. watch 6 foreign films (0/6)
48. stay at a monastery for a weekend
49.
50. go to one museum
51. attend three sporting events (0/3)
52. attend a women’s conference
53. attend 3 parties/shows I wouldn’t normally attend (1/3)
54. try two new kinds of ethnic foods (0/2)
Chicken Soup for the Soul
55. worship at three churches other than mine (2/3)
56. read the whole Bible
57. pray for my family every day for 40 days (0/40)
58. spend a whole day with my father NOT complaining about life
59. send mom 6 hand written notes telling her I love her
60. memorize 15 Bible verses (2/15)
61. and then 15 more (0/15)
Its all about You
62. buy flowers for someone just because I can
63. send care packages to my friends overseas (2/4)
64. work on a Habitat for Humanity project
65.
66. buy a cup of coffee/lunch for 4 people I don’t know (0/4)
67. give blood
68. tell 5 strangers they are beautiful (1/5)
69. volunteer at an Elementary school for 6 months
70. send out Christmas cards once (by Dec. 10th)
71. volunteer to cook a meal for a family at church
72.
73. help out with 3 Lazarus/church outreach events (1/3)
From the Lincolns to the Benjamins
74. print pictures from Chai/Joska trips
75. put aside $5 for every task accomplished (2/101)
76. save $1000 to be spent on nothing
77. find and apply for 3 scholarships (1/3)
78. go sky diving
79.
80. visit California
81. visit Colorado
82. visit New York (road trip if possible!)
83. buy one outfit I LOVE
84. contribute ½ of my tax return to my IRA
85. have a 30 day no buy zone
86. buy a beautiful dress
87. buy a new book every two months, put a note in the book about why I liked it, leave it at a random public place for anyone to pick up (1/15)
From the Inside out
88. read the newspaper 30 times (1/30)
89. watch the news for one hour 30 times (2/30)
90. fast one day per month for duration of 101 in 1001 (0/33)
91. do hair and makeup every day for a month (0/30)
92.
93. be in bed by 10:30 every day for a month (0/30)
94.
95. do pilates for another two months (0/60)
96. go one month without eating fast food (0/30)
97. lose 5 pounds…then another 5 (7/10)
98. eat a salad every day for two months (0/61)
99. go one month without eating sweets (0/30)
100. ask someone out on a date
101. spend one day a month doing nothing but relaxing (6/33)
Things that should have been on the list that weren’t
102. Visit St. Andrews to see Jenn and Brandon
THE ADVENTURE ENDS JUNE 18 2011
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