it would seem that I have taken some time off from updating my profile...
I have been rather wrapped up in myself and what I want and what I am doing. Well what I have been doing is NOTHING like what I thought a year ago I would be. I did return home to work at the coffee shop for about five months. Then it was time to move on and I started working at a new restaurant that Stephanie and Marshall opened in Emory village. It was fun while it lasted, but the need to move on came there as well. I have now been working as a nanny for a family in Sandy Springs since last November, and I like this job WAY more than I thought I would.
I have also been on a spiritual journey since my return home. I left my DTS with a feeling of complete abandonment and inferiority (maybe). I don't think that I have ever had any single experience bring about so much pain. I am still grieving over how the last weeks of my DTS went because I allowed myself to be vulnerable and in turn feel like my emotions were trampled on. Will go into more detail on this one if there is ever any inquiry as to what happened.
Another step in my journey has been returning to school. I finished my first semester back at the beginning of May, and for the first time ever I got A's in both my classes. I will be returning to school for the fall semester in about 4 weeks. I am nervous about this because I will be taking a class that I have failed once, and a class that I know nothing about, but along with that I know that I am supposed to be in school right now. There is a reason that God has brought me back to school. He is going to use me in a way that I can not even imagine right now, but before he can use me I have to be faithful in what He is calling me to in the here and now.
On another note, I have just returned from an amazing trip to Kenya where I saw the Lord move in my life, and in the lives of those around me. It was a truly life changing trip, one that I will remember for the rest of my days. I, along with fifteen other Trinitarians, embarked on a ten day adventure for the Lord on July 10th. Our plan was to spend one day traveling to Kenya, eight days in country, and one day traveling home.
Its funny how our plans and God's plans for us don't always line up.
God's plan for me on this trip was to lean on Him fully, and expect nothing from this world. We left the Atlanta airport, only a little behind schedule, on our way to Chicago where the big delays began. Our flight to London was canceled that night, and we could do nothing but wait on the Lord to find a way to get us from the States to Kenya. We had looked into alternate flights and there appeared to be NO way we were going to make it to Kenya until Sunday at the EARLIEST. God had another plan. He worked it out that I would be on a flight, along with 12 other members of my group, to D.C. where I would pick up a connecting flight to London, then a small layover before boarding a plane to Kenya. Why He chose to hold our plans up a day I am not sure, and don't think that I will ever know his reasoning. I simply had to trust that God has (had) a plan for me, and he would not leave me alone to wage the war we are in. Once in Kenya I was hoping that the waiting and questioning would end, but again God had a different plan for me. My bags, along with the bags of some others, were held up in Chicago...some of them arrived Sunday evening with the last three members of the team, whereas others including mine didn't show up until Tuesday morning. Then there were complications with customs, so I didn't get my bag back until late Tuesday evening. I thought that I was so prepared for this trip, I had everything I could possibly need packed up in my bag. God wanted me to understand that HE is ALL I need. Plain and simple, He is all I need no matter where I am or what is happening around me. I know through this experience that this is completely true. I had every material thing that I could have needed in almost any circumstance packed away in my bag, and God showed me that HE can't be compartmentalized, or packed away. He is everywhere and He is my everything. I saw God come to life through the smiles and love of the people of Joska. He is truly their everything because as far as material possessions go, they have nothing, but as far as relationship with God, they are some of the RICHEST people I have ever met. God used the people of Joska to show me that through giving me breath and making my heart beat, HE was all I needed. The things of this world can not sustain my life if it be outside of Gods will for me to live, plain and simple.
I met with God in a new way during my week in Kenya. I pray that I would continue to relate to God in this same way, seeing him in the little everyday things that I take for granted. Things like clothes, shower, food, water, education, and money. I think that I am poor, because by American standards I suppose I am, but I am one of the wealthiest people in the world! Even if I had NO money I would still be one of the richest people in all the world because I have a relationship with God. I am a princess in the Kingdom of God and when my earthly flesh gives way to the after life I will be home with my father who loves me more than anything.
During my time in Kenya I was reminded several times of the scripture in Isaiah where he says "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, 'Your God reigns!'" I know that God has called me to be one who goes into the nations proclaiming the good news, and now I know also that ALL I need to do this is the knowledge of His unyielding love for me. If the people of Joska can survive with nothing more than their knowledge of God's love for them then there is NO reason why that can't be true for me. I met Mary-Anne while in Joska. She is a beautiful three year old girl who lives in poverty, in a land that is so dry that she could spend years without enough food to eat because the rains have failed and there is no work available for her parents. Through this little child of God I am able to see in a VERY tangible way that my presence in Joska was no accident. Her mother told me that she fell in love with me, and my presence makes her very happy. I laughed, and wanted to cry because the same is true for me. I fell in love with this little girl, and her presence makes me happy. I saw God in her, and I look forward to watching her grow in years and love for God.
Mary-Anne and I outside of CCRC in Joska.
